Mums Against Self Harm

Mum 'ASHA' tells of how she has staretd this group called MASH to help herself and other mums whose children self harm. See more here:
Their aim is to build friendships and encourage Mums to:-
  • seek help
  • find emotional and spiritual support.
  • grow in  confidence and strength
  • talk about how self-harm affects them
  • befriend one another
  • pray for one another
  • bring hope to other struggling families in their own communities.



3 months ago my daughter’s testimony of healing- from self-hatred and self- harm was read out to thousands of young people at Soul Survivor. Since then she has gone from strength to strength and it is amazing to watch her as she grows in confidence. Soon she will audition for a place at a Performing Arts college, and has embraced the challenge with self-assurance and optimism.

6 years ago this scenario would have been totally impossible to imagine. Severely traumatised by the discovery that her birth mother had suffered mental health problems and committed suicide, and imagining she had inherited mental health problems, my happy little girl became very depressed.  She rejected me as her Mum, adopted the behaviour (as she understood it) of a person with Bi-Polar personality and played out the tragedy of her Mum’s suicide in her head. She allowed boys to use and abuse her, got into self- harm - constantly cutting herself- and twice took an overdose.

Looking back now, we know as a family we would never have come through this trauma if it were not for the Lord Jesus.  However, it was no smooth journey. Self-harm wasn’t the sort of subject you could just bring up at a coffee morning and no-one else had admitted to having the same problems. Also I found that my daughter’s counselling services rarely included me and my husband, leaving us very much in the dark. We knew so little but one thing we did know-it was time to hold on tight and trust in Jesus!  The same Lord who had given me my longed-for baby would keep her safe and bring her out of self-hatred and despair.

Quite often we felt under pressure to prove to various authorities that we were ‘good’ parents however Police, child protection teams and Social Services staff warmed to us and provided us with advice rather than the warnings and reprimands we feared. Two years ago, my daughter received post adoption counselling. She didn’t want this to happen and we were afraid she wouldn’t open up and talk. However when Nicky, the therapist, arrived she turned out to be a Christian and an ex-student at my daughter’s school. And so the ice was broken and we watched as Nicky carefully and magnificently managed to help my daughter come to terms with massive issues surrounding her adoption.  We will be eternal grateful to her for her utter sensitivity and compassion.

I am also full of admiration for our youth team who worked so hard to keep up my daughter’s spirits. By their inclusivity and encouragement, prayer and commitment, they helped win the battle. It was down to their love and dedication that she even went to Soul Survivor this year.

My daughter was finally discharged from CAMHS this week. She is a completely different person from the one that came through their doors a few years ago. The head Psychiatrist told her that she was sure it was her faith in God that helped her through - and then announced that she too was a Christian. So all along, even though the journey was hard, God’s hand had been on my lovely daughter, walking with her every step of the way. 

At her baptism my daughter was given a scripture, one which she held onto throughout her terrible journey. She is thrilled whenever it is read out and declares it to be ‘her scripture’.

‘I know the plans I have for you’ says the Lord ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future’   Jeremiah 29:11 .Praise God ..
ASHA, 02/12/2013
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